Sunday, November 30, 2014

Spectrum Boy's Christmas List 2014



There’s a strong possibility that all these ‘Special Needs’ wish lists, toy lists, therapy lists are all exactly what your kiddos need for the holidays, but few of them work for my Boy and I’m guessing some of you might have the same problem.

So here's my take.

Here is the dream gift guide-slash-Christmas list for 2014. As written by the Momma to a 5 year old verbal, moderate-severe ASD/ADHD/ICD kid. Aka Freaking Awesome Boy. FAB. Totally FAB.
So here are my ideas for Christmas or Hanukkah or even just an "Omigosh I'm going insane" kind of night. Which is every night here, really.

Oh, and nothing is over $50. Because, for reals.

So there’s that.

And, without further ado and JUST in time for #CyberMonday or #PaydayIsntTilTheFirst... Here's our list.

ENJOY!



#1
The GOOP.

$1-2

Because by all that I consider holy, this was the best discovery of my life. Now, if your kiddo is still putting everything questionable in their mouth, this is an obvious no. Mine only puts hard things in his mouth and has serious aversions to slipper foods so slippery toys are also a no for eating. So this is a win for us. Not just any win. 24-7 hands out of trouble win.


This is a fidget extraordinaire.  Tips: Move it slow and it will stick, move it fast and it will click. AKA the faster you move it the easier it is to clean up. I wouldn’t recommend this for carpeted homes. Unless you could care less about your carpet. Or unless you’re desperate.


Now, I say $1 and it usually is. Unless you buy all they have, in each type, at every Dollar Tree in your city/town/county/state. Because you should. I did.

If yours doesn't have any or you'd rather go online there are plenty.

Trust me. Please.



#2
The Ekorre swing by Ikea

$34.99 + Shipping from Ikea. Unless you have a store nearby. In which case I hate you. They sell these on Amazon also, but make sure that it’s not more expensive than the Ikea $+Shipping. Cuz that’s what I did. (head butts wall)

Because he needed a therapy swing. And those suckers cost more than a down payment on a car. Well. My car..


It's a therapy swing, trampoline, Tarzan rope, indoor climber, savior extraordinaire. This should have been item numero uno on the list. 

Whatevs. 

I needed my Dad to hang it for me and it took him about 15-minutes once he worked up the nerve to do it. Hardware included. Squishy, nearly indestructable pillow insert can be blown up with a hair dryer. Canvas. OMG. Get. It.



  
#3
The cube chair. Because he saw it when he was 1 in Gymboree and we spent months looking for it. And because he’s used it ever since. He’s 5. Math that up all ya need to.


Step stool, table, chair… whatever. My kid ruins everything. This thing is still going strong. And it’s totally perfect for  a Momma to stand on to change a lightbulb if step ladders are dangerous. Which in our house they totally are. Amen.

$49.50. If you have Prime then the shipping is free. Some other sites are a few dollars cheaper but charge shipping, so since Prime is free shipping and TWO day shipping at that, it’s my winner.

Oh. And it's nearly impossible to throw. Which wins at my house.
 
 
#4
Stability ball. Or sensory ball. Or the I-know-everyone-says-to-get-it-but-I-haven’t-yet.


Do it.

$5-$25.


Let them roll over it, roll it over them, kick it, chase it. My Boy is still learning to catch a ball. And still getting bummed when he doesn’t. He never misses this one. Win.


 If you pay more than that because it says ‘’sensory’’ then that’s just... yeah. I found the cheaper ones work perfectly, so I'm not ready to bump up to $40-$75. This one has lasted me 8 years, 5 of those with Boy.

I keep it out in the netted trampoline during the summer. Because he won’t use the trampoline unless there are balls in it. BOUNCY MOOOOOOSH PIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!

I use it all through the winter when he needs a squeeze or a squish or a roll. Which is all the time.

 
#5
The Matryoshka, aka Nesting Dolls.

$10-25

Because my Boy has a thing about containers. And lids. And bags. And hidey holes. And cups. And tea pots. And okay… anything that he can store/hide things in or pour water in. Or out of.


Bathtime much?

I need plastic ones so they can get wet. And they don’t shatter if they are thrown at you. They might crack if your Kiddo stands on them, but heck my Boy cracked my wood ones opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and closing them. Repeat. To infinity. And there are no lids to open, so the fine motor is getting worked but not frustrated. Saweet.

Wood or plastic or pink or blue, they're awesome. My Boy is getting the Robots.

Because, awesome hiding/lid on and off/pouring things.



#6
Sandpaper letters. 

$5-$25. 

Because my Boy really, really, really, really struggles with letters. He doesn’t like trying to write them. It’s too stinking hard. So we went the tactile-sensory input way. He loves them. And he started tracing other letters after we worked with these for awhile.


Letters on his timeout mat. Letters on the signs at stores. Letters, people.

Also make really great, non-digestible, non-advisable chewies. Meh. We outgrew that. But just a head's up, sandpaper hurts teeth. Don't get it if you've got a paper chewer.

 
#7


Autism t-shirts. 

$8-18. 

Because nothing says "Back away slowly or I will unleash my years of ASD research on your nosy self" quite like a label.

But hey, it makes life easier. People smile at you more. They hold doors open. They don't call the cops on you. Sometimes they even let you cut in line at the store. And since when isn't that exactly what I want from Santa?

We have the ones from this Etsy shop. The t's are like SILK and my kiddo who freaks out over EVERYTHING I put on him wears this like it's his favorite blankie. 

More than my usual $3-5 per shirt budget, but worth it for me. The others are just cute ones I put in my "next" file. Because I love Think Geek. Because, Geek. And it's $8.45. Win

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1b0b/Awesome Autism T-Shirts: Ninja (MADE TO ORDER)


#8
Handheld water ring game. 

$5-10. 

Because, I have no idea. But he freaking loves it.


I've had this for 20+ years and no matter which shelf I put it on I find it back inside his swing, click, gloop, click, gloop.

Okay so the first two years he just opened it and dumped out the water, but now he gets it.

And it's the reason he doesn't have a handheld video game. This works for us. Thank you, Old School Santa.

Oh. And water. It's just water. Which is always awesome.

 
#9
Playmobil Ark. 

$32. 

Because, water.

It floats.

And it can be any water story you want it to be or anything they want it to be. I teach our best homeschool lessons in the bathtub.

He's calm. He's happy. He's looking at what I am playing with. And he's more likely to join in or take it away and finish the game. He doesn't even care that much about the animals, but this he likes. WIN.

And seriously. It floats.

And you can take it with you.

And it doesn't have those nasty black, moldy holes in the bottom that most bath toys have.

Eww.

 
#10
Favorite snack!

$1-$10. 

Because some people seem to forget how much fun it is to open a present! Granted, some kids don't care. But my kid? He unwraps a box of Cheezits on Christmas morning and he's going to be doing the freak dance.

In a big way.

Wrap that baby up and watch them smile.

Or maybe those Cheetos Cheese Puffs. Or beef jerky. Anything I don't want him substituting real food for. Unless of course he won't eat real food if he's given the treats, in which case ignore me. Completely. 


Nuts. He'll go NUTS.

For $1.

Wanna REALLY blow some minds? Get the snack pack sizes and wrap those. Full stocking for $2.50.

Bam.


So...

Merry Christmahanakwanzika.

Which in our house is really just Christmas.

With Challah.


<3

Thursday, November 27, 2014

There is beauty here.


It's not that there are more hard moments than easy ones.

Or more sad moments than happy.

Our lives have more laughter than tears.

More beauty.

And I still see the perfect and the joy and the progress and the gains even when there's a struggle.

I do.

I think that's why, even when it makes me sad, I can talk about the lows.

I'm not mocking our challenges when I do.

I'm trying to call our day as I see it.

Trying to be rational and honest about our life.

To be honest about things like getting frustrated.

So very, very frustrated.

Especially on days like today when I watch him struggle and struggle and struggle.

When all he wants to do is have fun.

And he struggles.

Days like today when I'm irritated down to my very core because life should NOT be this hard.

It should NOT be so hard for him to be surrounded by close family who love him.

I should NOT have to make decisions that keep him safe but hurt his heart.

Decisions like choosing to remove him from the party, from the company of the people he adores so he can have quiet time.

Because he's melting down.

Because their noises and smells and movements and laughter, and even the excitement he feels because of his very love for them, are all part of his struggle.

Because he doesn't know how to be a part of this group.

He KNOWS they love him

He knows he belongs to them.

He doesn't know how to ever... Completely... Be... WITH them.

So tonight I am frustrated.

Tonight every ounce of my heart and soul wants to run away with him to a quiet place where we can live in a bubble.

Where, I rationalize, he can live as he would have a hundred years ago; without football on the tv and Christmas music playing and timers dinging and phones ringing.

Where there are no visitors.

Where there is silence.

Silence where the unchartable, hidden bubble in his brain that his tests label "nonverbal IQ" can take center stage and he can sit and create and build and plan.

Where everything that overloads him can fade away.

Where there are no demands except to be his brilliant self.

The way he is in the quiet of our rooms, when it's just us.

But I am neither able to let him live in that fantasy bubble nor am I able to rationalize allowing him to be so entirely removed from the world.

Hidden away where there is no therapy or assistance or support.

No family cushion to lean against. And we desperately need a cushion.

So we compromise.

And days like today: gloriously brutal days where he is surrounded by perfect love and yet tortured by his challenges, are the best kind of compromise I can find.

So I let him enjoy himself as best he could.

And I saw the beauty in it.

And I watched him fall apart.

And I felt the sorrow of it.

And then we spent an eternity under blue lights in a darkened room.

And there was beauty there.

Squishing glitter slime. Pacing. Rocking.

And there was frustration.

Because we were necessarily relegated to the "corner" again because he was too much for everyone else.

And everyone else was too much for him.

But whatever the struggles, I am grateful for the celebrations we have.

I am grateful for the family who loves him.

Who watch him rock and listen to him scream... and hurt for him.

And wait for him to reset and rejoin them.

And love him even more for the hurting and the waiting.

And I am thankful.

So very thankful.

And yet, here in the dark aftermath of the holiday, I am still visualizing that cabin.

Imagining the escape.

And still, always, purposefully, staying put.

Always.

<3
#SpectrumMom
Pic of my Boy hiding from the world.

With his cousin, unprompted, unschooled. Beautifully, successfully, trying to bring him back to us.